a letter to my daughter's birthmother

To my daughter's birthmother,



Tomorrow I will look into some wild, brown eyes as she jumps on my bed screaming "happy mother's day!!" How do I know she will do this?? Because she is full of passion, excitement, anticipation and fun.....also because she told me her crazy plan when I tucked her into bed.

Tomorrow she will be so excited to make me coffee that she will probably dump half the bottle of creamer into the coffee along with spilling a bunch.

She will make me a lot of pictures that she will write "To mommy, I love you." On the pictures she will draw her and I going shopping, wearing matching dresses and shoes with matching purses.

She will get all dressed up for church because she is a princess.

She loves to wear some of my makeup "but not a lot momma I know" she will say.

On the way to church she will probably sing songs that are made up about the Lord to the tune of some sort of Christmas song.

She will probably get into some sort of trouble tomorrow :) She is so full of ideas and creativity! However sometimes those ideas involve some rule breaking....but its worth it to her:)

She will probably beat her dad and I at a game of checkers no joke!! She is always a step ahead!

She will probably smack me in the rear to be ornery and do a really crazy dance to make me smile!

Tomorrow I will smile a lot and be filled with a lot of love.
I will also be thinking of you.

I wanted to tell you thank you.

You chose life for her and now I will give her a life of love and grace.

She did not come from me but she is apart of me.
When I look into her eyes I see you.
When I see her love her special needs brother I see me.
When I see her smile I see you.
When I hear her talk about adopting a lot of kids someday I see me.

Even though she will not be in your arms tomorrow I will hold her for you. I will tickle her, cuddle her, drink her overly creamed coffee and smile!
I know that this will give you comfort because you are a mother. You want what I want for her.
You are never far from my thoughts, you are never forgotten.
This story began with you.
It is full of pain but it is full of redemption too.

Our lives came together because of our daughter and Im looking forward to when our paths meet again. I will have a lot of memories to tell you about and I am sure you will have some you would like to make.

Until then know

she is loved
she is happy
she is home