Nearly ten years ago while Sam and I were in the midst of a cancer battle and facing the fact we would never naturally conceive. We were also told once my husband went through his round of radiation the chances of us even conceiving with help would be none at all. We told the doctor we were going to trust God and that we always wanted to adopt anyway and it seemed the Lord was making it a pretty easy choice for us….or the only choice at that time.
I went through my mourning for that child I dreamed of having with my husband. I would wake up every morning and refuse to hang on to my dream. I would picture my self burying this dream and laying it to rest. I would cry, yes but I refused to wallow in self-pity. I walked away from that grave with my eyes up to the horizon. There I could see a promise from the Lord. (read psalms 91)
I refused to hang on to this dream for multiple reasons. First, the Lord was asking me to. He had something in store for me better than what I had planned for myself. So in obedience I put to death my plans. Second, I didn’t want to be a burden on my friends. I wish the Church would take this more serious. I know this is so sensitive. In fact I think it is so sensitive that pastors and Christian friends are afraid to face women in love and grace and show them there is another way to live! We are free in Christ and if you are “stuck” mourning my friend you are allowing your peace and freedom to be robbed. I have seen women because they feel justified in their pain steal the joy and peace of others! What a burden to be to others because they have what you do not. I hope this does not seem insensitive, like I said there is a time to mourn but then rejoice in the remembrance of your salvation and all He has promised
Adoption VS In Vitro fertilization
When I counsel women and they are already headed down the road of IVF I will not stop them and tell them to adopt. The same goes if they are already going down the road of adoption I will not try to talk them into choosing IVF. I simply walk with them down whatever road they have chosen and support them in anyway that I can.
When I counsel a woman who doesn’t know which road to travel I always lean towards adoption. Here is why
1. God loves adoption, He tells us to care for the orphans. I have had people tell me “well the bible doesn’t say adopt orphans” to that I say let us care for them sacrificially and radically! Let us look at this scripture as a command and calling to sacrifice our own comfort to show them love that is not of this world. Let us suffer for the least of these! Do not do the minimum of this scripture…(James 1:27,James 1:2,1Peter 4;13,)
2. The addictions and abuse cycles have our system spinning. We have so many children in foster care and not enough good Christian families opening their doors. Turn on your news and listen!! It is not enough brothers and sisters to hear a sad story of abuse and cry and then walk away! If we do nothing with our convictions and nothing with our compassion what good are they? Will you only love what comes so naturally? Will you only extend love to your birth children? God calls us to be different. He calls us to lay down our lives. He calls us to suffer. (James 1:2,1Peter 4;13,)
I don’t lean toward adoption because I think IVF is wrong. I think we are free to choose adoption, IVF or both! Adoption makes us deny ourselves. Adoption makes us face the gospel everyday. It makes us say, “I choose to love you even though you don’t love me.” “I choose you even though you don’t choose me” It says “I choose you no matter what!”
So I’m sure you are probably wondering, “ok why in the world did you do IVF?”
I am so glad you ask!
More to come on that next!
Thanks for reading! Now go and adopt some babies J